He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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