hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
