You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
