Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
