How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
