whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
