Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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