he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You left your phone here
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