ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
