That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
