so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
