And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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