I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
