Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
third nipple confirmed
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
