do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
