Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
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