Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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