So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
why do cheetos always look like penises
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
