I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
