Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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