How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
