I heard we made out
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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