I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I faked an abortion last night.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize