I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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