can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
