They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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