after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
