So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was like eating out sand paper
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
