At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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