They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i now understand why vodka
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
