She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
