I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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