Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
