i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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