if i can run in heels then i can drive
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
