i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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