you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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