oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
