Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.

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(845): View more from New York

Make me a sandwich

(301): View more from Maryland

The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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(240): View more from Maryland

it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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(631): View more from New York

She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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(424): View more from California

I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)

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