so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize