i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
