Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
