at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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