You're my little dorito
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
