Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize