well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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