I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
