come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
