you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
