forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So vagazzling was a success
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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