She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your penis caused this!
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