He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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