I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize