After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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