And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I understand Curling. That high.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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