it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize