oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
