I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
