I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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