it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
