I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
